Yeah I go through my depressed phases, but generally I’m happy. I also like to think that I rarely, rarely, get mad or angry. I think those who know me would agree. But there is something that pisses me the fuck off. (Warning this is a rant and there will be bad words, so I apologize.)

What is it? Well, It’s when people go ahead and judge me by my choices and what I do that makes me happy. Who the fuck are you to judge me by that? You have no fucking clue what the fuck I’ve been through, what I’ve done. So if I find something that makes me happy, something that makes me feel normal after years of self abuse and self hate. Fuck you for trying to make me feel bad for doing it.

Oh? You think your better than me because you “know” better than to do that? Because people think it’s “gay” to do that. Really? You’re a better man than me ‘cause you can say “Jordan your a fucking idiot for doing E, it makes you stupid.” Or, “You like her? HAHAHA She’s just gonna walk all over you, you don’t stand a chance with her look at you.” Oh and lets not forget. “You watch glee? HAHAHA what a fag.” Firstly, how fucking dare you insult me by a show that I like that makes me really happy? And more importantly it pisses me the fuck off when people use “gay” and “fag” as mean actual insults. If I was gay, would that make me a bad person? Would I be a loser for it? Listen, I hate that we have to be so politically correct in fear of insulting anybody, but this is wrong. When we use who or what a person is as an insult or a in a way that its wrong to be it. That is fucking wrong.

And yeah I do drugs. I don’t deny it, I smoke weed, I do Ecstasy, whippits. But I know my limits and I don’t let it control me. Fuck you for calling me out on it. I’m not a fucking addict. And don’t think your better than me ‘cause you don’t do it. I don’t give a fuck if you do or don’t, so back the fuck off of me cause I do.

I swear I’m really the worst judge of people. But that’s how it’s always been, you see, people tend to like me right off the back. And that fools me into letting them get to know me, get closer to me. And when that happens I show them the real me, and then they get all high and mighty and start to do whatever they can to bring me down.

Honestly, a majority of people who are my “friends” do this to me. It’s fucking bullshit. Friendship is something that is sacred to me. Sure I can take a few jabs, cracking jokes at each other is part of friendship, but when it gets to this, mean, verbal abuse to purposely bring me down. Fuck that, I don’t need that, and I don’t fucking deserve it. I have less actual people I can trust and enjoy being around than I do fingers. And I’m fine with that. I’d rather have a few really great amazing people than be surrounded by a bunch of fucking pricks who think they can just do and say whatever the fuck they want to me.

That’s why I’m transferring to LA. Cali is where I was born and It’s where I should be. It’s where I wanna work, where I wanna start a family and it has the best people I know. Take my friend Trevor. I’ve know him since we we’re freshman in high school. We’ve both changed a lot since then. But something that hasn’t changed with him is loyalty. He’s about as boys as it fucking gets. He’s like me, other people come first. That’s the way it should be, here in Seattle they are all out for themselves and they don’t give a damn what they do to you to get there. Fuck that.

That’s my rant. To the people I do really like, I think you’ll be able to know who you are. I wanna say thank you, for being nice, caring, and just really good people. I’m so glad I have you. And know, if you ever need anything, never hesitate to ask me, I’ll do whatever I can for you.